Radiant in Rishikesh: The Much-welcomed Ashram Aftermath
16/1/23
Our course is over. Today I woke up at 5:30 am, like clockwork. I feel Josh’s presence. I smile, of course, it happens this fast and this way. I smile from my heart, ahh such a legend. Thank you for always showing up when I’ve needed you, and for protecting me for half of my life now. Yet now it’s time for you to go. So we can meet again super soon. I have a thought pop in, maybe he will be my child and this freaks me out and is weird haha. Ok, it’s true, I overshare a lot.
I am proud of myself, I got this. I have for a while now.
I read a beautiful story that resonated so much for me from a teacher in Bali..
I vow to honour myself and my body in its entirety. To bring aliveness to my emotions and sensations regardless of how uncomfortable that becomes.
Opening up to receive it all,
I choose to keep my heart wide open despite its desire to sometimes close.
I choose to share with all of you my wild, my raw, my pain, my ecstasy, my authentic messy truth.
As I know that’s what we need, I know that’s what the world needs, what women need.
To feel safe, too open, to stay open despite the pain.
I am embodying this. And was inspired to create my own vows for 2023. Hence why I decided to share it all.
Feeling excited we get a new home today. Also reflections on the week begin. I said yes to this as Belle had found the place she wanted to study Tantra. I always loved learning and have never experienced an Ashram. Asked last night.. Would you do it again?
I pause… I don’t think it’s necessary for me to do another at this point in time. What it has outlined even more is my desire for my own sanctuary again. My own home.
So I make my hot drink from my new Ayurveda mix. It tastes delicious and warms the soul. Western medicine is the exact opposite - however, it all has its place.
I set myself up in the sacred space next to the temple. Pranayama practice begins. I run through all of the Pranayama techniques we have practised in this course, enjoying the consistency and getting back to these again. As so many benefits from digestion to mind clearing.
I am loving my journal of growth, and my intention for the week is to speak my truth - even more. Sometimes, we don’t say things as people generally don’t want to hear the truth or we feel it is unnecessary as to why would we hurt someone with it. Reality is the truth is all there is. The more we ‘protect’ people the worse it becomes. As you are really not protecting them - we have to understand people will be ok with the truth. Regardless of the outcome, this life is theirs, karmas and all - who are we to get in the way of that.
We should not.
We have talked a lot about karmic paths, where souls go and the circles of life, ancestral traumas, and karmas that are present and created in this lifetime. And in reality, there are no ‘good people’ as it is hard for people to be truly one hundred percent good. And the reality is no one wants to be that.
Then remembering my chat with Guru Ji about mustard seed oil. We meet in the yoga hall and here we go again. Mustard seed oil up the nostril, drops are put in. The burn is real, literally mind-blowing.
We practice Pranayama again to clear it all out. I can feel it burning down my throat and into my ears. Trust it’s working! My entire right side is blocked. More massages will fix this. Any excuse to get back in the steam box.
We pack up our rooms and get out chat in with Swami Ji, he is checking our astrology charts. And gives us a quick rundown. I’m a little wary as years ago when working at the Hanuman Restaurant, the chef was reading palms, she took one look at mine and said NO. Years later, I figure out what else can go wrong really.
I’ll just fill you in, starting from 37, your life will begin to turn around. I am loving this so far. Basically abundance in life, sharing your knowledge and teachings. The next 10 years will be the rise of your successes, there will be a lot of travel through work and enjoyment. Happiness is coming your way - 42 is the highlight. Phew! And by 47 you will be set up financially and settled. Although. Super emotional and very connected to the moon.
The moon cycle affects me a lot, so stay away from cold food to be less emotional. Strong moon, doesn’t allow you to open your heart. More emotions makes it hard to make decisions. The moon is never constant. When the moon affects the mind, it is constantly changing. Moon fluctuations = mind fluctuations.
My moon is high degree, so heart isn’t able to open which leads to unhappiness and not sharing with others. Ok, I have been working on this.
He says in relationships, mental compatibility will not be the same as in I will think I think east, my partner will think north. To overcome, Astro remedies can be put in place. Zodiac sign here is Gemini which means I will make a good wife. No guarantees I’ll be a good husband… phew.
I need to adjust a lot - I need to manipulate and change myself to express myself more. High risk of Bipolar IF I don’t speak my truth. So this entails letting people know how I feel and not holding back. Look out world.. Joking. If it’s not appropriate, he said to speak to nature, the trees, dogs - I sure sign need a puppy, perhaps.
Guru Ji shows me we are in the News over here, almost famous - My name is wrong. Patricia & Belle from Australia join the ceremony. So good.
We gather our belongings and deliver our luggage to the new place, which by the way looks pretty fancy. Off to find the Ganga View Cafe, mission. We are on our own for 5 minutes and already the taxi dropped us off somewhere… we call him back and he drives us a little further up the road to the next bridge. We had no idea we were walking across a bridge as we’d paid ‘to go over the other side’. Time wise it is quicker if we walk apparently. We jump out and head over the bridge, maps says 35-minute walk. Opting for ATMs, we scope out 3, all to no avail. Finding a roadside coconut, we drank before asking the price, we are now paying 120Rp, the most expensive of the trip and we have little to no cash. We’d tipped our chefs from the Ashram, so good karma? We venture down the road seeing all the new and cool places we will be staying, receiving tattoo’s, yoga classes.
The cafe is OK, the view is nice. We order salad and veggies and decide Indian food is what we are here for. Back on Thali train.
Takes us awhile to navigate our way back over the bridge, seeing all the things we want to buy. We give the last of our money to a cute little girl, who’s back of goods to stolen by a monkey. He sat on the bridge emptying and eating, she had tears. We found a Tuktuk driver, we found an ATM, and we are back on track.
The hotel. Well, it is the best one we’ve stayed at yet. HOT showers, comfy beds, working wifi, a cute note with chocolates on our bed to welcome us. I know I’ve just learnt to live without comforts and they are the biggest destroyer. Yet I am stoked to be here and filled with gratitude that I am warm and comfortable. The small things.
The king of Thali is what dinner was made of, back to the favourite Paneer Tikka, Dahl Makani, and stuffed Naan.
I am unable to breathe I am so full.
Night x
17/1/23
We begin our moring at Moustache Hotel rooftop. We are back baby.
We’ve booked a yoga class, Belle spotted a name and number in a poster, after a WhatsApp message, we’re in for 9:30am today.
We enter the class and it’s us and one other girl. He seems very strict and it focussed, I love attending classes while I’m away. Especially being in the birthplace of yoga. The class begins and the layers come off, Rakesh knows how to teach. Warmed our bodies up straight away, we hadn’t sweated this whole trip and within two minutes of practice, we are feeling it. His teachings are very focussed on us getting the basics. I absolutely adore this type of teaching, where he is focussed on us entering the pose correctly and knowing our bodies capability. Our own kind is our own biggest blockage. The narrative we create oh no my body doesn’t bend that way, or I’m not that flexible or I’m in pain. He is super quick to diminish all of these.
We hold the poses for 5 or 10 breaths, this is where frustrations, anger, tantrums, and sweat all arise. This is yoga, the staying power and overcoming your mind. Maintaining a steady breath is each pose, while his loud instructor voice bellows out we move into each pose.
Then he walks around and adjusts, I mean the pandemic hands on touch for all yoga wasn’t allowed and I’m not sure this would fly in Australia as it’s quite intense. We are comfortable as he seems to know his stuff. The entire class feels like a chiropractor, massage, workout, and meditation in one. We are hooked. We book in again for tomorrow’s class. Feeling great as this is what I love about travelling, getting back into my practice, and loving it. Feeling the intense workout we both received.
Brings back another layer of healing the physical body again in my own way. Acknowledging what areas I need to pay more attention to. There is no flowing through a pose, these deep long holds expose all.
I head to the 60s cafe. A beetles-inspired cafe, with a turmeric latte to die for, it has a while date squished, and since I’ve been recommended by the doc to eat pancakes I try the beetroot pancake stuffed with spinach and cashew cream. Yum.
We are booked in for a cooking class, there is no hiding the fact that Belle and I are obsessed with Indian food. Learning Ayurveda cooking has always been a passion of mine. We make a semolina Halva. This is generally made for breakfast or a dessert. We don’t add much sugar and it’s delicious, it’s similar to a porridge, we add crushed almonds and cashew and green raisins with shredded coconut on top.
We made a Khickadi, Chana Masala, and an Eggplant dish.
The great thing is, all in one pot cooking. Works for me. And the base to create them is similar. I’ll be having cooking nights when I return home. You’re welcome.
During the course, he cracks jokes, shares his wisdom about the dosha types, and the ways to eat. Rajastic, Tamasic and Sadvic. Which I discover is the three fork prongs meaning on Shivas fork. Everything is symbolic over here. It all is connected and tells a beautiful story.
Oh, and we also learn the Masala Chai recipe. He convinced me to drink it with milk. Over here dairy is everywhere, I drink half a cup and their cups and a quarts the size of ours in Australia. Also, send us home with a powder which will ensure I don’t bloat. We both take this drink before bed, it’s very herby, and a little spicy.
We had 10 minutes to spare, he teaches us the way to make Ayuerveda massage oil. All the properties and how to prepare in ceremony. I’ll be making loads of this. It’s incredible.
Tomorrow is tattoo day. Another hot shower, comfy bed and early night for us.
Continue to surrender.
18/1/23
Rishikesh is definitely a return place, I am loving it here now.
Tattoo day begins with out new ritual of morning rooftop meditation and Breathwork, and yoga with Rakesh.
It feels great on the body and kind to have some routine. We cross the bridge and we even have that down pat. TukTuk to the bridge, walk across, call Ravi and he drops us at the shopping space on his motorbike, or death trap as Belle calls it. She is a little hesitant but knows how much I love them!
I try a savoury masala porridge to break my fast. It’s delicious and warming, I haven’t had a savoury porridge before. I used to add coconut milk and honey. This could be a game changer.
Tattoo selection… we ensure we get this one right. We’ve been known to get the wrong spelt tattoo together. I mean, it’s a way funnier story to tell than a normal tattoo, so I actually love it. I did find it funny straight away, as I couldn’t still cannot speak Spanish and a letter was missing. It is on the back of my arm, so everyone could see while I was travelling. There is room for me to add it in. But I choose not to. Belle was a bit more freaked when she found out. She called me to tell me - now we laugh. As we realised, we’ve done through all the years of mishaps in our travels together.
Life’s better when you laugh.
Seriously what else can you do?
My tattoo is a beautiful reminder for me about how far I’ve come, the levels of life and healing I’ve moved through to get where I am.
The way we move through each chakra, each blockages, each challenge in life. It’s one big beautiful lesson.
19/1/23
Rooftop meditations in 6-degree temperatures are now a thing, with smiles on my face—It’s my choice now.
Yoga sessions with Rakesh are now my absolute favourite. An advanced 90-minute class feels like all the body adjustments you need. Accessing powers that have been hiding for a hot minute.
We’ve been given a list of Shiva temples to visit and watch the Ganga Aarti.
Letting go of our blessings in the river.
20/1/23
Bowl blessing about to commence.
I rise early pick up my new backpack and head for the river. It’s a short walk and TukTuk ride. The sky is super clear the morning as it rained last night. It doesn’t feel as cold either. The streets are so chill at this moment. Another content moment as I wander along the road, my mind and body feel super calm. Super is the new word, it’s used a lot over here.
I have the belief in life and in travel that it always works out. The first driver I see offers me a ride, the Ganges is also quiet at this time. It’s my favourite to watch the city wake up. I mean not like the old days when I would still be awake with the city. Now it’s fresh feels as I find my spot.
I unpack my bowls and one by one, wash them in the river. It’s flowing fast at this time as ice is melting from up the mountains, so also means it’s the cleanest it will be all year. We’ve planned to go for a swim, against all Google recommendations. As I consider this more, I hear my bestie, Lynn, “Babe, that water isn’t safe . You’ll get Ecoli or even worse, the India equivalent!
Belle and I discuss, especially after tattoos, plus if it got in our ears, mouth, and then even our privates. It wouldn’t be a great end to the trip.
So up to our thighs is the final agreement.
We’ve heard that Patna waterfalls is the best place to do this. On googled maps is 11 minutes by car, recommendations that we can walk. It’s hard to trust either of these. We do our usual trek across the bridge, and call Ravi our awesome motorbike guy. He drops us at the taxi rank and thinking at this point, we have it sorted. The cans say 1200 which is more than it would’ve been from our hotel. Nothing makes sense.
Call Ravi and he organises another bike, so we can cruise to falls, wind in our hair, and awesome views of the river.
As we’re driving, I hear something about him telling his partner to go behind him, basically one of them didn’t have a license. So we cruise through all the checkpoints, no worries. Arriving at the waterfall, Ravi says just up there 2km and points up the mountain. The fun thing about going with the flow is that no research is done prior to giving yourself reasons not to do something. After our intense yoga classes muscles are burning - a good way to keep the body warm and limber. Up we go!
He and his partner come with us, she’s feeling it as much as we are. It’s muddy and rocky, yet beautiful to be in nature again. The top provides the goods. Hot chai, a cave, and cascading waterfall. Happy climbers.
The return ride, Belle's driver takes off like no tomorrow cruising home like she’s on the run. Perhaps it’s her with no license.
Ganges has such a strong connection to the heart. The flow of life, and it’s running fast at the moment. The worship to this river and unique shared love. It holds such beauty, yet filled with beautiful contradictions at the same time. Life really.
We purchase some gifts and post the bundle back to Australia’s, trusting it makes it way as some cool presents are inside.
Our last supper in Rishikesh. The favourites have been the French bakery, which is healthy desserts.. and the place we first ate our King Talhis at.
Chocolate Ravi cake, vegan sugar-free chocolate slice for the wins. And all the curries - in bed!
Another rom com movie and tucked in bed super early. I love that we are both on the same page when it comes to this trip.
The polar opposite to our Mexico trip years ago. It’s a beautiful thing to keep friendships and both be on the same pages of life.
X
My Ashram Stay, Rishikesh
Ok. I took my time, a few days post-Ashram and I feel like the whole experience was definitely worth it. Life is full of countless contradictions, learn to take this whole process lightly and it becomes a little funnier and easier.
Day one 10/1/23
This day could’ve been a show called - Watch Me Spiral. Seriously though, it would be the name of the day if it was given one.
We can do all the things to feel at peace within. Yet we are still human. We have feelings, so when the time comes to be still again. Especially in an ashram, where you are on someone’s else schedule, hard beds, cold rooms, eating foods they cook, and choices being taken away. My rebellious side rears its head. The inner child literally wants to throw tantrums, all I can do is watch myself and be amused after a few tears finally flow out in the evening.
Our morning starts with Pranayama. It’s nice to bring these back into my practice, like anything we have seasons and mine has been my Breathwork. Coming back to Pranayama at this moment is the accompaniment to Tantra. Tantra being a mix of Breath, Mantras, Chanting, Postures, Payers, and food. Food plays a large role in any spiritual practice.
More questions pop in…
Why does my body rebel so much to being told what to do. This experience is for me. Why cloud it with unnecessary shit. It is because I need to feel in control right now?
I go with the flow - when it’s fun and my decision to do so. So, what is this then? I choose to come here. Cold. Full. And still eating. I am my own biggest self-sabotage.
We explained we are here to do the full experience, so a diet to accompany that is what we ask for. We get Aloo Parathas which are delicious yet feel wrong as its not the food for now, we’ve been told. It’s easy to get lost in the frustrations and blame others. It’s no big deal or is it? Each moment in life is a test to become happier or release more, peel back the layers of life. One more Paratha is not the end Verity.
I continue to watch and listen.
We aren’t given any Karma Yoga today, so we venture out to explore, we find another school that has Panchkarma and offers a steam massage, as I’ve put my neck out I’m keen for this. Whether it’s the travel, or the cold, it’s pinched. The body reacts so much and it’s easier, not as fun, to notice when we are being still.
Our schedule isn’t a schedule just yet, so we are a little unsure of what’s happening and when. We are quickly summoned back for a philosophy lesson.
Begins with knowing one’s self. Loving one’s self. You can only love to the degree you love yourself. Ok, I just gave you the lesson ending. So this was the beginning.
Swami Ji, our master says in short - we are not our name, how do we know what we can see, how do you know what is real, you have eyes, how can you see. How do you know? The answer. You are awake.
Explaining once you die, you are no longer your name, you are dead. You are nothing.
Every single emotion is rolling through, rather triggering as one of the greatest life accomplishments may be leaving a legacy of how you make people feel. Along with the feeling of never forgetting the ones you’ve loved and lost.
It’s why I am here to continue to learn and grow. I can sit on this.
Accompanied with news that hurts my soul, it’s not a good mix for the day.
I dislike being cold and it’s apparent I am just not built for cold weather - in these conditions anyway. Cold when I don’t have enough warm clothes or amenities. Which is another reason I guess this breathtaking cold snap, which never felt before here happened now. Lesson.
The Tantra book we are studying explains we are at total slavery to luxury and comforts, saying drugs and alcohol are not as dangerous. The book was written in 1984. I’m not sold either way right now. Would a port actually warm me up?
More pondering…
The realisation that life and love aren’t fair. When I’ve chosen love, life has ripped it away, when I’ve chosen love before and there wasn’t the willingness to heal and grow together. So like travel, the trust begins to fade away. The negative spiral growing exponentially right now. Am I not good enough for someone to want to treat me well. Is my lifetime one of pain to teach me lessons. Why do I still care and love those that have hurt me so much. Why do I love so much, love is endless. Is it love? What is love?
Laughing while this taking place – is love endless. Yes, love is also unconditional. Yes, you can love so much. You’ve experienced real love. Also, Allie is now in this world, that’s real love. Haha
I know the victim mentality serves no one, but I allow it to come through as I am cleaning and clearing. So bring it. My approach to healing can be to go hard or go home and I’m not allowed to leave here… so.
In the midst of it all, I know these thoughts won’t last, they never do. I know myself that this tough part right now will pass. But I know I must feel it all. These emotions are still there, so I feel them deeply. Why else am I here? Poor Belle as I am frustrated - we only have one heater and tell her if I die from the cold, please delete my phone notes. As it’s filled with tantrums, like the ones above.
When I first did my Dosha test, I remember him asking if I had a fiery temper. I said no. He asked what about with family or loved ones. Oh, ok yeah I do. So, I found a way to write these notes on my phone to make light of the situations with dark humour. After dinner, I tell this to Belle, that a lot is coming up for me and feeling it all heavy and hard right now. She had a giggle and didn’t think it was over the heater - which is basically a hairdryer that I am perched next to.
I then read some of my dramatic phone notes to her…
It’s more than apparent. I’m not built for the cold. I cannot focus on anything apart from being cold.
Yes, I know another distraction from actually writing or focussing on my studies. I cannot do anything else but feel cold.
My toes are frozen, I have to wait another hour in the freezing state before I can steal a heater for my room. The heater which is in fact a hair dryer. These conditions are not what I’m built for. I am a sook. But cannot fathom any other way.
Ok, new focus.
Manifest dinner.. in 40 minutes. I don’t think I can wait even that long. Ok, pork chops make sweet and head to bed then. Fuck this, I cannot stay here for 40 minutes. I don’t like ashrams. I like being able to do what I want.
The ones above about being cold and my pondering on life and love. We laugh. This isn’t how I see life, but in some moments, yes I have.
I also share one of my angry reviews from a few years ago when we were waiting for a burgers one day. I never sent this and I won’t name the shop.
Dear …
Firstly I was impressed with your easy to use App, well done.
Now here is where it gets messy and heated, not only did you not see our order, when we arrived to collect you’d already started to pack up. A pure careless approach to your business, by missing our order, we have now had to be subjected to an unhealthy fried chicken in our burger. Seriously disappointing, you are just beginning in the NT and up here it’s all about customer service, so double-check your orders before you shut up shop. The app stated it would be ready in ten minutes, it’s now been one hour and forty-five minutes.
So to say I’m unhappy would be an understatement, I am fucking fuming. How about a phone call, a refund, or even making what we ordered.
As I sit here still waiting for the burger to arrive.. I will finish this after I’ve tasted your long awaited burger. It better be insane - or I will ensure no one and I repeated no one orders from you ever again.
V.
She was cracking up at how dramatic I was being. She said when I die, she’ll turn my phone notes into a book and make millions. As long as you share all the money with my family and friends, I’m ok with it.
More pondering..
I am upset about emails I receive as they’ve hurt me a lot. I know deep down people never mean to hurt people. As hurt people hurt people. So I am trusting this is all a lesson and I’m learning more at a rapid pace. There are moments when you just want to be able to speak to people, to communicate and express your feelings. Because you know if they understood, everything could be sorted out. Yet that isn’t always the answer either. You cannot fix everything and it’s not your role.
Instead, continue to trust the unconditional love and the universal plan. We cannot rush healing, everyone is on their own life journey, or souls path.
It’s just so true we should always be compassionate as we never know when people are in their shit, going through stuff, working it out. Kindness and compassion are what is needed to share and spread. How cliche. But true.
Ok, guys. I feel this post will be the end of me. Haha, I’ll continue on.
Day two 11/1/23
New day, newwwww nah not new me.
I wake up grateful and then a sly humpf. It is still cold. Fuck, I am whinging a lot. Ok, mini Breathwork and I am good. Life is simple. We can move our thoughts, feelings, emotions, and energy through our body. But there are some days when we are hurt we must feel it otherwise we are brushing through life, numbing. And our reason for being here in this moment right now is to experience - it all.
I am feeling more excited about the Tantra journey, we drop deeper into our Pranayama this morning.
Grounding at Mulhadara, with Sukasana, rounding and rolling of the torso to the breath. Then side to side and front to back. Connecting breath to movement. Back to basics, slow down, and connect the body, breath, and mind.
We fire up the body with Bellows Breath and Shiny Skull Breathing. Activating more fire with Agni Sara and working with the Bhandas. Hello to good digestion.
There have to be seasons to feel amazing and seasons to feel average. And then can both be combined. These can happen day to day, hour to hour or months apart. There is no good or bad, I just remain curious and amused - at myself.
I laugh even harder to myself I’m not sure I’ll post this but writing is a healer for me and has always been. When Josh passed I wrote novels to him, and to writing letters to partners and never sending them, forgiveness letters and not sending them. Writing is a healer and it can be just for yourself. It is a private journey. And should only ever be your choice whether to share it or not. It’s why no one should ever read someone’s phone or notes without permission. These are written in times just for you. And not necessarily how you feel rationally. Our reactions are not always what we desire to share as these can be growth moments. Our responses are what we wish to share. Sometimes they need a reread!
As we wait for our Karma Yoga to be given, I think it’s time for some yoga or booty workouts. Enough of being in my mind. There are many ways to clear your energy, mentally and physically. Sometimes it’s putting headphones in and turning up super loud dance music and flowing with your own body.
Yoga has 8 limbs for a reason, so we can work through it all.
Yama (moral discipline)
Niyama (observances)
Asana (physical postures)
Pranayama (breathing techniques)
Pratyahara (sense withdrawal)
Dharana (concentration)
Dhyana (absorption or meditation)
Samadhi (enlightenment or bliss)
There is not one right way or procession that’s correct. It’s your journey, so keep trusting your inner voice, the goal is to get to a state where you can truly listen. Be still, calm, and content, and listen to yourself.
Our philosophy lesson is on how we wish to learn - like a monkey, where it’s clinging to its mum, stuck in the head, knowing what it wants. Or a cat, no one ever sees them mate, or feed, they are such mysterious creatures. They may cuddle up to you or scratch your face. Always a mystery.
We get to choose if we wish to be a client - someone who collects certificates and posts. A student - someone who learns and integrates and will eventually teach or a disciple where you learn from the base up and only progressing when you are told. This would mean minimum a year in an Ashram with a master. I choose the second option. I love learning, I’ve studied at lot. I wouldn’t say I retain all the information all of the time. I continue to believe I remember what I need at the time. It all comes back at some point.
We are here to learn from Swami Ji, the Pranayama and Asana teachers as much as I’ve been learning this entire India trip. Life / Travel / Travelling India is one big lesson. Listen, learn, understand, and take what resonates with you.
My culture isn’t so much of a culture, like they have here. I was never baptised or christened, and I am happy about this. I did at one point get stuck in Religious Education as mum thought it would be good for me to learn. I sneakily, not so, wrote it on my hand stood up in front of the class, and read out my prayer. Only to be told that is one everyone should know. Won’t ever forget that one now. But in all honesty, I’ve loved learning about cultures, my own, Australia’s, Indonesia’s, and India’s. It’s fascinating and heartwarming to pour so much love and belief in.
I am booked in for a shirdona massage and steam. Hello warmth. Who would’ve thought this would be my constant focus. I guess I wasn’t expecting these temperatures. I am getting better. The massage is amazing, she is like a big Mumma hug. Keeping me warm and covering and tucking me in. She is hilarious also.
Our Asana practice is Hatha Yoga, postures that are opening up and allowing us to connect deeper with each chakra. Today’s is Swadisthana.
Another testing night, I undress to get ready to shower, I’d waited 45 minutes for the hot water to kick in and turned on the hot water… no water. I redress, and stroll down with my heater. Announcing to Belle. The lessons are coming in thick and fast. She thinks I’m so dramatic. I am right now. I am not upset, just need to find solutions. Swami Ji instructs me to run all the taps as there is air in the lines. Well, I’ve now become the local plumber.
Dinner is served, Aloo Palak, a spinach and potato dish. Ok real shower time, I set up my heater, get ready. The heater stops working. Not to waste hot water I am quick in the shower and race to my room. Dress and then sneak downstairs to raid the heater stash as now I know where they all are. Swami explained many people have died while using these heaters, they leave them on all night and there is no oxygen in the rooms. OK - I survived the first two nights. And this new heater I have looks a little older and smells funny. I obey the rules and turn it on only for a few hours to heat my room. Imagine if this was my end… in an Ashram with a hair dryer heater.
I started writing my eulogy last night. Nana Drams over here. No, it’s an exercise in one of my courses. I believe death needs to be spoken of more and something we aren’t afraid of. That way when someone experiences a loss people are more equipped to assist them. I remember when Josh passed people didn’t know what to say to me or how to react, so they would put their heads down and pretend not to see me. Felt like I’d contracted leprosy along with loss. I never blamed them; you don’t think about it until it happens to you. The other side is when people come to you and get upset themselves, so your role becomes more about comforting them. I just believe more awareness will help everyone, it’s not a taboo topic. We are all going to die. So relax.
I don’t want to die right now, however, writing this will give me more inspiration of how I wish to live my life now. How I wish to be remembered. Two people I loved who passed have left the greatest legacies. Both absolute legends. So, the bar is set high.
x
Day three 12/1/23
The dates written right now are cool. Forever a numbers and Moon girl.
4:30am wake ups - to turn the heater on. I am relentless I know. While here I am having massages and doing all the Panchakarma I can. Balance my dosas and get warm, with massages that come with steam chambers.
I stay in bed until 6:45am, this is just cracking me up I normally get up so early. I do a meditation in bed under the covers.
Pranayama today is straight into it. Bhastrika, Kapalabhati, Agni Sara with retention. A lot of fire breath to warm the body and belly. Focus is on our Manipura chakra. We are on the Kundalini path. Bring on the heat.
Today I am fasting as rice is served for breakfast, I have my lemon ginger tea and am happy. My belly needs a rest, so I am happy for this. Also. Enlightenment!
Booty bands workout, day 3 in a row now. Mostly as - it’s keeping me warm. We venture out for a walk for an ABC juice, my body is singing. Fresh juice.
Today I am putting more focus on gratitude, I write in my journal
I am grateful:
⁃ To be alive
⁃ Fresh juice
⁃ To be healthy
⁃ Sunshine today
⁃ Here in this moment, in Rishikesh studying from Masters and Gurus
⁃ For heaters
⁃ A bed
⁃ Chai tea with coconut milk
⁃ Steam chambers
⁃ Massages
⁃ Pictures and videos of Allie
⁃ Allie
⁃ To be an Aunty haha ok she knows, you know, we all know I love her.
Gratitude really is the answer to it all.
Philosophy lesson - There is a big focus on Eastern and Western ways of learning and teaching. I will forever be a student, so I take no offence to the teachers saying ‘How can you learn yoga in 200 hours or Kundalini in 21 hours?’
In all things we learn from a teacher or a master, we learn to walk, to eat from our parents. We learn to read or write from our teachers, we spend 18 years in education system, yet if I told you I was going to live in an ashram for a year in solitude, you’d all think I had lost the plot. I don’t think I could do it either, but never say never!
The more I delve into my chakras/blockages the funnier I think I am. So here we are. Healing I have always said, doesn’t need to be painful. It’s generally not super fun or easy, but it can definitely be amusing. It’s how I’ve gotten through majority of my big life milestones.
Swami continues we are probably not going to reach enlightenment in 7 days, so rather than teach you all the text book stuff our lessons are a whirlwind of knowledge from him. Which I am enjoying a lot. Today’s lesson felt like it was directed at me…
The beginnings of Kundalini we feel uncomfortable, get annoyed or frustrated easily. This is what’s meant to happen - think of it as a washing machine.
We put the powder, the water, and electricity. It whirls around (like chakras do) and cleanses out the mess. We are still left with mucky water, so this process takes time. Little does he know… I’ve been ‘cleaning’ for a while now. Alas it confirms my amusing curiosity. The key is to become the watcher.
I find this can come naturally to some when large events take place in one’s life to turn the switch. In moments of trauma or shock, your body instantly becomes a watcher. I don’t wish this for everyone clearly.
One way is when someone is mad or angry, rather than retaliating, learning to observe is the key. It is generally not about you. We always see a reflection of ourselves in others and that is the trigger. It’s why relationships are the biggest mirror and our biggest work.
Asana Practice - I prefer to do asana in the am. Again, more processes or obstacles for me, my mind, and body to overcome. I love the teachings.
Today, I feel I am winning as on our walk this afternoon; I purchased cashews and a hot water bottle. It is smaller than my hand but I’m grateful and positive in all its juicy, steamy, hot, benefits.
Literally, I am becoming delusional.
xx
Day four 13/1/23
I am laughing at myself even more now. I couldn’t sleep as I was so excited - to not feel so off, the haze has shifted. I didn’t sleep until midnight, so many meditations put on trying to stay in my zone of feeling it all.
Today feels lighter. And the sun is out!
In these courses so much comes up for me. Some days conflict with what I believe, or I’ve learnt in previous courses, to their teachings to what I’ve experienced and lived in my daily life.
Our philosophy lesson is all about the ancient ways and opening of Kundalini to nutrition. Which is actually a major part of this journey. Slightly relieved as maybe all my years of hectic food study and diet trials were for a reason. But in all honesty, it’s what I love learning about. I’ve studied doshas, done cleanses, and eaten to my dosha type. Like anything we learn it comes and goes in seasons. I am human.
To open the chakras in this modern-day life without moving to an ashram for a year… the answer is simple yet seems to be the hardest for us humans. Generally, the more simple it is the harder we make it.
Nutrition, he speaks a lot about being vegan and choices as to what we eat these days. Making a joke, why do we eat so much chicken… We kill what ‘wakes us up’. We eat chickens, they wake us up the earliest!
Basically, it’s going back to basics - eating healthy. Natural organic foods. I know we al know this.
Watching oneself in how you react or respond to teachings is fun. - Rebel without a cause.
We are each living the awakening to the Kundalini if we choose to do so. Its self-love, putting yourself first. Your health, your nutrition, your energetic boundaries, your sexual energy, who you allow into your life.
Still, we must prioritise time for play, to nourish the body and the soul. Make life fun get, your shit done.
Our bodies will continue to adjust to our Surroundings. Yet we worry we are offending others, like needing to eat the way the ashram said. They served me Aloo Paratha again today; I ate half of one. Knowing full well yesterday I fasted until 1pm and felt amazing. So again, tomorrow I try again. New beginnings each day to improve. A small setback, is just a reminder of where you’re at and where you wish to go.
Today I feel full and bloated after lunch and breakfast. When I hit this phase, I tend to eat more. Such a strange self-sabotage form. And proof that when you stay healthy it’s easier to continue on that path.
Heart-opening asana practice leaves me in Savasana in tears, sweet little releases. I’d had the moment in my meditation in the tomb which looked more like a temple. I haven’t lost the plot entirely. Where I knew my heart needed a release and hear it is. Vowing to feel it all, express it all, share, and dance a little more. Opening the heart once again for love.
Grateful for Belle and smiles today.
xx
Day five 14/1/23
Loving feeling lighter this morning, all the processing is happening.
Humans are the only ones who have a choice. Have privilege. Which perhaps causes us so much misalignment as then we have the option and time to compare. Or when choice is taken away, our minds become turmoil.
Sayers and Prayers. Be careful what you say and what you pray for. It will all happen at some point, so be specific about what you say and what you manifest.
Tapping into our animal qualities/desires, we discuss:
⁃ Food
⁃ Sleep
⁃ Fear
⁃ Sex
We are the only ones who dress to be ‘sexy’. This can be a little confronting again, skip ahead if you need. And who defined ‘sexy’? The media. Being beautiful is a healthy innate desire. This allows you to be beautiful and sexy.
Sexy is dressing for approval or acceptance which allows you to live in a space of needing validation constantly. Walking down the street and people’s heads turn to look at you. Encouraging attention and it’s not necessarily healthy attention. As intercourse isn’t the only sexual connection. There is sexual energy. So, if you interact with someone even on an energetic level, you exchange energy, which intertwines with all their energy and the other people’s energy they’ve encountered in their lifetime. It is like a mass energy rape. I don’t use the word lighting.
It’s just saying to be aware of the sexual partners you choose. And be honest with your internal dialogue with beauty and being sexy, just be curious and kind with yourself. Remember the past is the past. The more you learn the better decisions you can make. Such an interesting way to view, massive lessons and reflections today, thanks Swami Ji for always bringing the goods. So much focus these days is on external appearance and if we all just gave that away and worked on the internal - the whole world would be beautiful.
We discuss the way we speak not only internally but externally. Are all the words we use necessary?
The task is to record ourselves speaking for an entire day. Play it back in one month. See how much ‘shit’ we talk! And if it’s positive or negative. Is it helpful or a waste of energy? Take the time to notice how you speak and this will give you an indication of how great a listener you truly are. We all think we listen to others.
I remember my mum listening to my sister and I chat as were were getting ready to go out years ago. Mum laughed, saying, you’re not even answering each other or listening to what the other is saying. Hilarious.
Feeling especially privileged this evening. I’d jumped out of the shower Guru Ji pops upstairs and announces Swami J is doing his ceremony to welcome the sunny season. This is a celebration I am into. The sun. It is their New Year and it’s an auspicious time, 7:45pm to be exact. They are checking via an app, modern times. Perhaps there is a monk app.
The ceremony is called Makara Raashi.
‘Makara’ means ‘Capricorn’. The movement of the sun into ‘Makara Raashi’ or the ‘zodiac of Capricorn’ is called Makar Sankranti.
This festival marks the end of the long, cold, winter months and the onset of spring. In ancient times, it was the time when the shift of the sun resulted in longer days. So, it is a celebration of the change of seasons - from a harsher to a milder climate. A sign of hope and positivity.
This festival is celebrated in honor of Surya (the Sun God) to pay tribute for the grace of his energy that has enabled life and food on earth.
As it is the harvest festival, it is a time of joy, abundance, and celebration in the farming communities, the time when they reap the fruits of their hard labor.
It is also a time for peace when families bury the hatchet and get together.
We collect all the items, some of which are Ghee, statues, flowers, food as offerings, fruit, and camphor.
There is a fire pit in the temple, Swami Ji prepares, and we sit around him. Guru Ji places the blessing on our foreheads and Swami Ji hands out flowers this is where we all get to create our own Sankalpa. In our heads we are to repeat our family name, birthday and place and what we wish to release or how we wish to level up.
I didn’t know how much there were all into numerology, I love it. It’s how all decisions are made over here. Even to find our confirm your partner or a marriage.
Placing our Sankalpa offerings back, Swami puts them into the fire with blessings. He begins repeating his mantras, it’s fast. Each mantra and then he ladels Ghee as an offering into the fire. I am mesmerised by the entire process. Each time he says Svaha, which translates to – ‘well said’ or ‘so be it’ Considered a blessing, a release or an expression of ecstasy. We each place, with our right hand a special mixture of herbs into the fire pit.
To be a part of this ceremony and coming at the exact right timing to release for me.
Releasing a lot, sending love and healing to others. I list everyone I can think of and more. Plus abundance all the new exciting things my future holds in love, health, business, people, connections and experiences. No holding back here.
The ceremony ends, we enjoy a special cookie and are dismissed to bed.
xx
Day six 15/1/23
Woke up excited, life is the best. Funny and fascinating. So many unanswered questions and so many answers at the same time.
Guru Ji, took us through the end of our Pranayama this morning. Which was a new intensity and messy level. Clear the sinuses. Raise your energy.
Breakfast is a polenta dish which looks amazing, yet I’d committed to fasting. Feeling a little bad as they’d cooked for me. I’m excited to eat it so I pack it up and have it for lunch. It is delicious - polenta is going to be a new staple for me - now I know knew ways to cook with it.
The sun is out today which means Guru Ji will begin his Sadhana, a discipline or training which an individual sets to attain Samadhi. Usually, the monk sets himself and allows space to meditate.
His involves sitting in the center of four fire pits and remaining there from the rise to sunset – in silence. This continues for 3-6 months. The dedication is unreal.
We are again welcomed into the ceremony as it begins the initial fire is set by another monk. All our teachers are here, another extremely special moment. Plus more blessings, we are able to make for you all and ourselves. We are invited to walk around the fire, pacing herbs into each pit.
Philosophy lessons always hit the nail on the head. Today’s is..
Respectful awareness. This hits home, we can be frustrated at people and not understand why they do what they do. Especially when it’s something you could never imagine yourself doing. Treat others how you wish to be treated. For me repeated lessons only occur when we haven’t addressed them correctly. When we haven’t spoken up - as something or someone has hurt or upset you. It doesn’t need to be a horrible conversation, as we can forgive people, it’s their life their karma. We can however make them consciously aware.
It is about understanding we all make mistakes and certainly no one is perfect, we do not judge their actions. Just as they should not judge ours. It’s having an understanding; it always brings me back to people do the best they know how at the time. Frankly, we are all too busy with our own Karmic cycle and understanding that to be worried about everyone else’s. So instead, develop awareness and respect that they are going through theirs. Your journey is about understanding yourself, why things trigger you, how you can learn and listen from your own emotions and sensations. Look in the mirror, its where all the answers lay.
There are two ways to change – Cognitive and … I forgot to finish the sentence in my notes. I’ll get back to you on this one.
We visit an Ayurveda doctor in our break, she confirms my pitta dosha, gives me a list of suitable foods and some natural remedies to assist with my sinuses and scoliosis. I’m aware that medicine won’t correct my spine, this is just softening the bones and the yoga, Chiro and stretches with help with the rest.
Swami Ji and I chat about healing people and the karmas and affects it has on the people and the world and us. How to nurture students even more, the dedication and endless love for people you encounter in your life. Honestly, I love our chats. You’ll get to hear about his fascinating life as now he’s off filming to create his own Netflix series. He has been with 317 people as they pass over to die, studied countless degrees. I won’t spoil all the details about his healings and his life’s work you’ll have to watch the show and read his book. It is incredibly breath taking though.
We discuss how long souls stay with us once they’ve passed. I am curious as it’s now been almost 10 years since Josh passed and I explain when I travel, I feel him a lot, protecting me. Whether that’s a comforting place when I’m anxious or not. Swami explains and refers to Kung Fun Panda. Great movies! There are no coincidences, if I think he’s there he is.
Souls need to continue their own journey, which includes Josh. I did a cord-cutting ritual a few months ago to release the bungee rope I kept clinging to when things are going well for me, I level up and then it’s like I freak out or think I don’t deserve happiness. Whatever the thought process is, it has held me back. His advice is to speak to him - I feel your presence Joshy (Swami doesn’t say this) I love you being around, yet it’s time to go. Continue your journey, so we can meet again soon.
The words hit pretty hard, as I’ve never said them before. Ten years on and the unconditional love is there yet I’ve learnt and grown so much. I am ok to say these words. I think.. when the time comes up. I’ll let you know.
Tonight, is our last night here and the end of the course. Well, I’d actually call it more of an experience. To reflect back, I’m excited as to where the last 10 years have landed me. I’ve grown more internally than ever expected, retained a lot more knowledge than I give myself credit for. Love the way I can always laugh at myself and my openness to share. It’s the way I’ve learnt – through study and listening to others experiences, the world needs it. So, we don’t feel so alone. To know that everyone experiences the same fears. Not being good enough, fear of being alone or not being accepted. We are all here to learn, so make all the mistakes, heal and from them. Find your soul tribe, speak your truth, slow down and enjoy each and every moment – laugh through the ones you aren’t enjoying so much, dark humour has its place. And when you find the happiness and content moments. Embrace.
I’ve shared bits and pieces from my week - it was intense. Feel free to ask me any questions, or to laugh with or at me.
I also don’t believe this is for everyone – it was not a holiday.
En route to the Ashram
8/1/23 - Our last day in Rajasthan. I’ve truly loved this place, each city having its own unique vibe and something special to offer.
This morning is all love. I’m loving Yoga and Yoga loving me. I feel the best after a Breathwork and a long juicy flow. The sun beaming down, turns into no sock flow. Gratitude is always in the small moments.
Travel accentuates everything and all emotions. And it works both ways. The excitement, highs, and fun times. Also the gravity of what your body is able to hold. Acknowledging when you need to slow down or move your body. Tourist adventures are fun, yet your daily rituals and requirements hold feet to overall happiness.
So a day to get on top of life is necessary. To chill in our awesome abode.
So is food! Belle is stoked to find a 14000 review place that has 4.3 stars. Breakfast and dinner are here. It’s a mixture of all small shops providing the goods. I’m told its run by the government, so I’m unsure how it all works but I got chatting to two of the shop owners and they seemed super happy with the deal.
Paneer wrap, Veg Thali, Chai - these are becoming a constant in my life. Two young guys sit down with us and we’re saying how much we love the food. They are quite amused as it’s their normal foods.
9/1/23 - We hit the road.
Sonni our awesome driver in Jaipur is calling us at 6 am to take us to the airport. So prompt, so chill. It’s a nice change.
Back to Delhi we head, only for a stopover as we make our way to Rishikesh. Ashram here we come…
When you’re busy and on the move a lot, you are in the moment, being present. That’s why travel is an amazing healer. It can bring out all the goodness and all the ahh other stuff. A time to reflect, think, or just be.
In the beginning our new driver wasn’t on our good side, after the agreed price wanting more for tolls which is understandable but he was making up prices, he’d shown me the actual prices and then added on another huge amount. It can become annoying when you just want to pay the real price. I don’t know any holiday or journey that doesn’t have it ups and downs. So I trust you’re enjoying the ride along with us!
So the next exciting part is.. more food. A surprise find on the way. A huuuuge Veg Thali. This has sent us over the edge. The place is called Meera, the fitout is super cute and colours, it would be impossible to feel upset here.
We arrive at our Ashram and dinner is served.
It is absolutely freezing, I keep checking the temps, it’s saying 10 degrees. That is actually impossible or I’ve lost my mind.
We are given a mini heater, basically a hair dryer which I sit beside and am allowed to take into my room. Which is a quaint room… bedding and linen optional. Perhaps I can work with Adairs and we can fit out Ashrams, perhaps a new charity in the mix.
I’m here for the experience and to do the work…
I wont keep you in suspense. I did make it through the night.
There are Always Two Sides - Jaipur
There’s always two sides - Jaipur.
Awakening this morning after the Full moon, my body knows it needs downtime.
A cleansing Breathwork is needed to release the tension.
We’ve done a lot of travelling and Forts and tourist things. I love to travel, however I know my body. Belle had discovered a cafe that she knew would be right up my alley. It’s called Farmacy, a healthy cafe designed by doctors. We pack your gear up and put luggage into storage which means I am adored with my cool backpack.
Into our TukTuk we jump, the day is already starting well our driver is a calm soul, no stress, no pushiness. Super chill. He knows exactly where to go, and offers to wait for us. We say we will be a few hours, yet he is happy. The patience over here is a whole new level.
This place is exactly what I needed. All health, quiet, amazing decor, and friendly staff. Time to chill out, get up to date on life. Emails, booking a trip with my sister and Allie. Life really is for living!
We order kebabs, which even the word doesn’t sit right with me. Yet these are delicious Burasi Beetroot Kebabs - crunchy, smokey patties made from kidney beans and beetroot accompanied with a mustard sauce. A Black Wheat Lacha Parantha, a semolina flour Indian bread flavoured with butter & exotic vegetables, paneer, cheese, vegetable baked in clay oven. And a Paneer Paratha, another bread stuffed with homemade cottage cheese & spices annnnnd a Pindi Chana, a North Indian chickpeas curry.
We book a new hotel, looks cute and out of the city. Which I highly recommend - Suryaa Villa. We thought walking in city would be fun, yet our bodies needed quiet. I’d been told about having a bubble, time to escape and I was craving this today.
Visiting monuments today became a little about checking them off the list, which isn’t ideal. Nothing a coffee cannot fix. As we walked through City Palace and museums, viewing weapons, clothing… 700Rp for this tour and to be fair at this stage, we’ve seen some breathtaking monuments and here we aren’t allowed to take photos.
I am sure Belle is relieved at this, I cannot understand why she doesn’t want photos with me today. Tourist V, backpack, and all!
The weather warms up and so does she, layers are removed, and as long as my backpack stays out of the shot, I’m allowed in. We become slightly more intrigued at Jantar Mantar which is all about astrology and cool photo ops for us.
More funny pictures, money exchanged and time to collect our bags.
Hawa Mahal is what I was excited to see, the pink city remains true. The roads are busy busy, so we pull over I jump out and get the shot.
We are taken to the Nahargarh Fort where we can see the city, Jal Mahal, all of Jaipur’s great monuments.
Death is synonymous with sadness, but Maharajas turned this sorrow into a 'Saga of the Past.' The most exquisite and graceful instance in this saga is Jaipur's famed 'Gatore ki Chhatriyan.' The Gatore compound follows Vedic architectural guidelines with Indo-Persian structural and arcuate building influences. Crematoriums are located north of the hamlet and slope southwards, according to Vedic norms. A body of water, particularly a river, provides an ideal setting for the memorials.
The courtyard has three sections:
The chhatri of Sawai Jai Singh II, the founder of Jaipur, stands in the courtyard's center and is made of Taj marble. Basically, we’ve seen the Taj now. ..
Sawai Ram Singh's memorial is located just behind the chhatri of Sawai Jai Singh. It mimics his chhatri and contains an exact depiction of the regal games of army scenes made of Italian marble.
Sawai Madho Singh, is the most intricate of all and is a one-of-a-kind blend of stone and marble work. Its layout is similar to that of the Taj Mahal to some extent.
We view the three white, red, and yellow marbles. Venture though the secret doors, and meditate as sunrise hits. A nice chill time and the energy in these places is next level. I feel it instantly in my heart, messages come through quickly and fast. The heart has been broken, yet you are home. Home within yourself. Mostly messages make sense after time, I mean this one is quite clear. Yet they aren’t always like this.
We meet a guy walking his three donkeys on the way, he guides us up the mountain. Quickly acknowledging my fitness levels at this point, heart is racing - deck chairs stairs got nothing on these ones.
We really do get lucky, India has a way of showing us the worst of the cities first, if we pass the test and stay calm, laugh and enjoy. We seem to be rewarded with magic afterwards. I will continue to believe this for the remainder of my trip… There are always two sides.
The views are astonishing. Truly these moments of contentment pop back in.
The traffic is a lot in this city, our driver is forceful and a weapon on the horn, we get to our destinations as quick as possibly viable.
Our new place is everything we’ve dreamed of. I highly recommend staying here at Surya Villas. The entrance feels calm, the pretty lights, and then as we walk in, we are shown around the property while we wait to check-in. It has a fire in the middle of the restaurant. I know. Amazing, as this is the coldest it’s ever been in Jaipur. So it’s not only us feeling the cold. We have a family-size room, and boiling hot water that doesn’t need to be switched on. Big mugs for our bring coffees. Again the small things I am so grateful for.
Our dinner is Laal mass to end of Rajasthan stay, paneer curry and breads. The owner asks if we like it hot, generally we’ve been saying medium. As who knows what level of hot is here. But I take the risk and it’s worth it. Warm curries, warm chai, warm showers ahead. Happiness.
These guys can do no wrong here right now. Belle has spotted a bakery sign so we walk to ‘check it out’ brownie heaven here. So desserts is sorted. Biscoff Brownie from O’Baque.
This night is the best… Hot showers, get into my comfiest clothes and brownie in bed.
Peace out from Nan.
Full Moon & Pushkar Prayers
Full moon today, and in the full feminine. Igniting passions and perspectives, renewal of energy, mind, heart, and journey. Embracing being wild and free, to connect back to the heart, intuition, nature… all in all a time to decide what is for us and what’s not.
Ceremonies today are a little extra, as we are at the Brahma Temple in Pushkar. - With Dillip.
We are guided through, given all the information and history such fascinating culture and it’s given us a more insight and meaning to the day ahead.
After removing our shoes, and handed beautiful red roses, we wander through the temple. Hand over our roses and bindis to the gods along with our prayers.
Another two stops to add our bindis, prayers and the last one is hands open as we accept the offerings.
A cute colour Rajastan outfit catches my eye, for Allie of course. And then we decide to get some skirts to solidify our presence for the day. Yellow, improves blood circulation for me, and good luck red for Belle. We pause for a Chai and Coffee and adorn our skirts.
We head to the lake, to begin our ceremony.
FYI - On the land of Lord Brahma, the special rituals of Shradh /Paksha are performed in remembrance of ancestors by their families.
Padma Purana Pushkar is the most significant place for performing the rituals of Shraadh for the departed souls to stay in peace and be happy. Lord Rama and Pandwa came here at Pushkar to perform here Shradha ritual for their ancestor.
According to Bhagwat Geeta
"acchedyo 'yam adahyo 'yam
akledyo 'sosya eva cha
nityah sarva-gatah sthanur
achalo 'yam sanatanah" (Bhagwat Gita: Chapter Two verse 24)
"Sri Krishna said: This individual soul is unbreakable and insoluble and can be neither burned nor dried. He is everlasting; present everywhere, unchangeable, immovable and eternally the same."
As the soul is ever lasting, Hence It became very significant to perform Shraddh during Pitru Paksha for the departed souls to rest in peace. Shradh rituals can be performed by the family member of deceased person especially by son or grandson, few additional steps has to be flowed if the rituals are performed by other person. It is very special event performed on the Bank of Pushkar Lake involves certain steps.
- Sankalpa - Commitment before performing ritual describing all details.
- Pind Daan - (Pind - round balls of flour created with special mantra for rituals) is done for for the salvation of the soul of their ancestors.
- Tarpan or sprinkling of water is performed, along with repetitions of mantras and texts from the Veda.
- Under the guidance of priest a person who is performing rituals has to repeat the mantras after the priest. Devotee make Donation of food, clothes after this ritual.
We accept our offerings plate and look over the lake at the female temple. A beautiful photo op and a monkey scares Belle, plate goes flying and a little squeal. This is probably a great omen if we decide..
We are each guided to a Brahma and the prayers begin. For ourselves, family and ancestors and loved ones passed. To ensure health, long life, happiness and abundance. A beautiful prayer, I’m told to repeat after the guide and we bless all. Bindi applied to my third eye, string wrapped around my wrist and holy water on my head. I empty the plate into the lake and it’s complete.
Almost complete, a donation is made.
We are hurried out of the place, I understand why it’s a place to visit and am happy we are continuing our journey to Jaipur.
We view the lake in Ajmer and a few more hours are in Jaipur.
Another recurring theme, which is funny because it’s also part of my commitment to 2023 - listening to my intuition. Dillip pulls rank and we are off to view some of his hotel recommendations… I feel my skin crawling as we head to an area that is full of men hanging around outside. As two females travelling alone and wanting to get dinner, it just doesn’t feel right. We also check the reviews online - Belle the Review Queen and I are not convinced. A few more words are spoken haha. Eventually, we find a place to crash for the night that had their own restaurant with good reviews in the city centre that we wanted and a Veg Tail - Happy ladies.
The shower was warm, the Thali was good and the music played all night.
We are literally Nanas on this trip. I’m here for it and all the AirPod working wonders.
Which Country is Suffering Without You? How Young are You? - The Land of Love and Courtesy
Philmailingaiai Udaipur, I know I’ll be back, any place that brings out contentment deserves a return, and a special place to bring special people. Although I realise India is probably not for everyone. It’s for me here and now.
Morning begins with Breathwork, yoga and journalling. I will continue to write this as a commitment to me, so thank you for your accountability along the way.
Belle isn’t feeling the best, so I am trusting our 5-hour drive is exactly that, 5 hours. We TukTuk our way out of Old Town for 100Rp. We heard locals pay half that and tourists pay four times that. Our driver awaits and off we go, not before grabbing the new favourite super fruit Guava and Coconut water.
Long travels are not my favourite past time, yet it’s all part of it. So I embrace by taking the time to write, read and just be. Or sleep, this is my go-to, anywhere and everywhere to ensure the time passes quicker.
Arriving in Jodphur at our Palace…
You can never be sure when travelling if the amount of stars will get you what you truly desire, it’s why the continuous adventure is always just around the corner. And how life ensures you release all your expectations. Our vision was to live it up, spend our time in the hotel sauna and spa.
Checking in, ‘Oh no. Our spa is under renovations.’ The laughs, continue… did we actually think our plan would come to fruition?
We settle in for face masks and TV, no wifi, no English TV channels. Lucky we always have great banter, and many past adventures to reminisce on.
I would say I’m a very trusting person, over here in the beautiful land of uncertainty our trust continues to diminish. The yes no, the okay ma’am , the no worries, or it’s all good. Don’t mean much - the game continues.
I’m excited for the Blue City, as much as I appreciate the old buildings and history. I love love a great city of colour, street art. Or a super smart way to market your town.
We jump in our TukTuk, Dillip our driver is hell-bent on arranging to be our guide for the day. He is super pushy and tells us what to do. Clearly triggers me, we argue, and ask him to be quiet. All voices are raised and there is no way I’m having a bar of him guiding us… bossing us around all day. He is persistent and by the time we reach our destination, we agree on a price and he waits for us. We laugh even more, how on earth did we just agree to this. Turns out to be a great decision, his driving speed increases as soon as it’s a yes. We visit the Jaswant Thada and the Mehrangarh Fort, Blue City, and my first Stepwell of the trip.
We had read up that the lost city is best to walk, thank goodness for Dillip, he’s asking everyone on the way where it. So again we are a little unsure of our decision with him. We park up and he advises he will be walking with us. Each moment with him is hilarious and frustrating at the same time. We walk through, making our way up to the temple at the top. Which I don’t believe everyone knows about, so you’re welcome.
Faaaaar out. This makes us all worthwhile. Our view is insane.
I’m in awe, the colours and beautiful. We ask Dillip the meaning behind the Blue city - It’s blue because it’s blue.
My later research reveals: The colour blue is associated with Lord Shiva Owing to its sacredness, many of his followers who were settled in the region daubed their houses in blue hues, thus the town received the moniker, Blue City.
In the land of Ayurveda and Panchkarma, I am in need to finding someone to help my sinuses. To our luck, we find one. A face massage, steam, and oil dropped into my nostrils. I’ll be completely healed in 7-10 days. All for less than $5.00. Got to be happy with that.
The owner explains he runs Yoga teacher Trainings and has won the world record for 1.5 hours in fish pose. Impressive.
Belle is off ordering our dinner while this is taking place, I know I’m in good hands. After my treatment, I’m told to wait, while a ceremony is prepared. The ceremony… a necklace made of flowers and photos, photos, photos. With everyone there and their friends.
I am welcomed and blessed and many photographs are taken with me, oiled-up face and all. I shoot Belle a message - hurry. They are waiting for her also to join in on the shoot.
After many photos, we are enroute to our hotel for another cozy night in. Well that’s what we thought.. Dillip has other plans. It can feel as you have no control, as he ensures us only 10 minutes, to go back to his home and meet his family. We are hungry and cold, and this could possibly be another kidnapping situation. Yet he is super excited and does not take no for an answer.
We arrive and I am so happy we did. His son is so well presented and is super excited to speak English to us. My heart melts. These are the moments you live for. The whole family is dressed immaculately and the family from the hood is all ‘popping in’ to visit. Again more photos which include the biggest smiles all round. Language is more the words and it’s certainly felt here.
As promised, we are back on the road, heading down the road against traffic, one of his favourite past times to get us places faster. Back for delicious dinners, hot showers and a heated room. Embraced as these amenities may not last.
You wouldn’t read about it, Dillip has now welcomed us into the family, we are his sisters and he is driving us to Jaipur tomorrow. I know, I know. But he is a hard man to say no to. Actually impossible.
6/1/23
Day 9
4-degree Breathwork and Yoga on the lawns before we fill up on breakfast. Pushakr we are coming for you…
Paintings & Pashminas
Happy New Year!
Morning flows and meditations that say just that. Go with the flow.
After our paintings and pashmina purchases, a tonne of laughs, Belle trying on all the colours. We were given the hot tips to visit the Jain Temple at Ranakpur — which has 1444 pillars.
The drive is a fun mix of Indian and Aussie tunes, a monkey jumping on the bonnet and a windy road all the way down mountains.
We arrive, and this temple feels different, I connect instantly. It’s quiet, no shoes and we are given a scarf to wear. The silence gives us time to meditate in here, the energy is intense. As we wander around marvelling at its beauty and the intricate work that has gone into this building.
The day continuing as a surprise, a quick coffee, and takeaway pizza, I know I don’t even eat it in Australia yet here I am with a wood fire pizza slice in hand, in the back of a Safari jeep on my way to spot leopards. What.
India so full of surprises. This is what happens when you say yes.
We see a mother and her baby cubs, such a special moment as I watch them playing through the binoculars, even though they are only a few metres away.
After a long day, a beautiful dinner lakeside is required.
